Perhaps I watch too many crime shows. There’s just something about tortured characters that I love. Not the criminals, mind you, but the protagonist who get to put the criminals in jail. All the heroes in cop dramas have some sort of tragic backstory. I’m actually taking a class called the Crime Film right now (which starts in twenty minutes, by the way), even though that really doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m saying now.

There’s a new show on CBS called The Mentalist. I watched the pilot online. It has a very similar premise to Psych, which I’ve never seen, so I can’t compare the two. But let me tell you, the end of the pilot got me hooked on this new show.

If you don’t want to be spoiled (even though this was like three weeks ago), don’t read on.

The main character, Patrick Jane, is a reformed former fake psychic. He helps investigators on cases, and has ever since he was a non-reformed, real fake psychic. On a live talk show, he pretty much taunts this one serial killer the police are after. This killer paints smiley faces on crime scene walls using his victims’ blood. So when Patrick gets home from that talk show, he sees a note hanging on his bedroom door, in which the serial killer, Red John, is taunting him right back and saying that if he were a real psychic, he wouldn’t have to open the door to see what he (Red John) has done to his (Patrick’s) wife and young daughter. So Patrick opens the door and…well, red smiley face.

Present time on this show is five years after this day. Patrick comes home at night, and his house has absolutely no furniture, but it is obvious that this is the same house he was living in five years before. He goes up to his bedroom, and lays down on a mattress which is on the floor. The mattress is right by the only decoration on the wall: a smiley face made up of his wife’s and daughter’s blood.

He sleeps there. Where his family was murdered. That’s beyond tortured or disturbed or even suicidal. There are no words for that.

Why do I have a feeling I’m not going to miss an episode?

We had an interesting discussion in poetry class yesterday. My professor is a hard-core feminist and liberal. She’s the faculty advisor for the OSU chapter of the National Organization for Women (also known as NOW). She brought up how excited she was about the debate, which took place last night between Palin and Biden. The entire class is very liberal, and such is the price of majoring in English/Creative Writing.

I consider myself decent at playing devil’s advocate. In a room of conservatives, I’ll be the liberal. In a room of liberals, I’m the conservative. This is how it was yesterday. My professor made a remark that rattled me. She commented that politics is not about individuals, but about parties. I can agree with that. Not in that I want it to be about parties, but that it is about parties. But then she stated that Palin is an anti-feminist.

I asked why. Because she’s against abortion? No, that wasn’t the reason. Well, not the only reason.

What I gathered from the rest of the class was that she is anti-feminist because she supports a party that has consistently kept women down throughout the years. As if being a Republican automatically means she is behind every single Republican sentiment, or perceived Republican sentiment.

Such an accusation, to me, seemed absurd. Let’s face it: we all know that in this day and age no independent can win the presidency. You have to run with a party if you want any chance. I neither fully support the entire democratic or republican platform. Few people do. Yet the issues that are most important to me may fall to one party or the other, so I may subscribe to that party for a time until the view changes.

We had a class one Sunday morning similar to this, about principles and values. I go to the Church of Christ, and I agree with the historical belief of Churches of Christ about baptism. I do not agree with the Church of Christ doctrine of a capella music being the only way to worship God. Which issue is more important to me? At this point, I cannot reconcile the two with each other, but I can no sooner divorce the Church of Christ than I can my own family.

That is what is wrong with the system we have. And I’m not saying let’s throw out the two-party system, because no matter what system we have, there will always be something wrong with it. It is man-made; it will never be perfect. But to agree with the Democrats just because they are Democrats (and the same goes for Republicans) seems wrong to me. But that’s easy, isn’t it? I’m so frustrating trying to reconcile my Republican and Democratic beliefs, when they will not come together. Though I support McCain at this point, sometimes I find myself going back and forth between the two candidates because I share views with both of them.

Let’s not even go into the fact that when you do pick a side, everybody on the other side thinks you’re an idiot and tries to convince you to change your ways.

I don’t want to pigeonhole myself with a label. I don’t want to fit any stereotype. I just want to stand for what is right, though I may not always know what that is or how to achieve it. Where’s that party?

I learned long ago not to take the good folks at PETA seriously. And I know they cannot possibly think using human breast milk in dairy products is a legitimate idea.

Still, I don’t think that they understand that their antics are known to have the opposite effect as what they would like. How many of you are now craving your favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry’s?

Okay, bad question. I forgot to take into account a loss of appetite, which I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing.

Thirteen reasons this promises to be the most exciting school year, ever.

1. It’s my senior year. Sort of. I probably won’t graduate in May, but this is definitely my last full year at OSU, so I should make the most of it.
2. I’m voting for president. I don’t know exactly why this excites me so much, but it does. It’s a new experience.
3. I’m writing more. I’m taking two writing classes this semester, same as the last, but I also know more about the craft than I did last year. I’m blogging more often and I’m writing poetry and short stories on my own, which are not for class.
4. I’m co-leading a lifegroup. Cortney and I talked last year about the possibility of an Every Woman’s Battle lifegroup, so we decided to lead it this year.
5. I’m studying the Bible on my own. Right now I’m going through Esther, but Ruth will be next. It’s very interesting what I’m learning.
6. I live in a mansion. The family I live with also is gone a lot. They are really nice, but when they are gone, I get the whole house to myself. Creepy, but fun.
7. I live off-campus. This goes with the above, but I was tired with on-campus living so finally I got out of that mess. I’m liking this a lot more.
8. I’m taking a film studies class. It’s called the crime film, which should tell you that it’s already been very interesting.
9. I’m reading more. And not just fiction. I’m almost done with Captivating at the moment, which comes highly recommended.
10. I’m cleaner and more organized. I’m not a neat freak all of the sudden or anything, but my car is mostly clean, and my room is not bad, and I clean it about every week.
11. I’m keeping a planner. While I’ve always done this, traditionally, it always tends to fall behind at the end of the year. This year, I’m making sure that does not happen.
12. I already know I love OSU. Last year I was nervous about transferring. Since I’ve been here a year, I know what to expect.
13. I’m staying through weekends. I haven’t been home in a while, and I probably won’t be for a while. Not that I don’t miss my family, but this, I think, keeps my mind here and not else where (it also saves on gas.)

Go to theThursday Thirteen website for more lists.

I’m in the habit of banality in everyday conversation; the everyday “Hi, how are you?” “I’m good, you doing all right?” “I’m doing fine.” How many times a day are these words–or something similar–exchanged even between the closest of friends? It’s pandemic, really: communication that really doesn’t say anything at all.

“I’m good” is one of my most-used phrases. When a waitress asks if I need more water, “No thanks, I’m good.” Or when an old friend wants to catch up, “I’ve been good, what have you been doing?” And “good” in that context is such a, well, bad word because it has lost its inherent meaning. Saying the obligatory “good” does not mean that I’m actually doing okay. Sometimes it is the truth, sometimes its the complete opposite. Sometimes things are so complicated that its the truth and yet not quite the whole truth.

For example, since school has just started, a common question I’ve both asked and been asked is, “how was your summer?” The answers don’t vary all that much, not even for those who have just gotten married: their summer was great, they worked or went to some super-exotic place like Kingfisher, Oklahoma, and they are excited to be back in Stillwater. My answer is more or less the same, I say I little about how much I love Contact and that I miss the kids already, and that is truer than I can explain.

Still, it is only a half-truth. The whole story is more complicated than that. This summer, to say the least, taught me a lot about perseverance. It was hard. Everywhere I went there was pain, almost too much to bear. On many occasions, I cried myself to sleep, because there was no escape from that. I go to work, there are people hurting. Go home, my family is hurting. I’m hurting. The road was rough and it was rocky and sometimes it was hard to see the end. But that’s the part of the answer that I keep silent.

Yes, something can be “good:” as in, worthwhile, and fun, while also having a few rough spots. Usually the rough spots are part of what makes the work so meaningful–and the meaningfulness is what brings about happiness. Pain and joy are intricately related. Don’t misunderstand me: I had a great summer, better than the last.

There is a difference between saying what you really mean and saying what you think people want to hear. But why ask questions if we don’t want an honest answer? The expected answer to “How are you?” is “good,” “fine,” “okay…” Yet sometimes, do you ever wonder about the truth when you ask a question like that? Maybe not all the details, but do you ever inquire into someone’s life not just to make small talk but to actually find out how they are doing? I think a lot of people do, and I think they are interested in what you have to say. Sometimes. And other times, maybe they aren’t expected anything more than “I’m good,” but of course I can only speak for myself.

In closing, I’d like to say that I haven’t had the best day. I fell down the stairs this morning, and it still hurts. But I haven’t had a bad day, by far, and I know I’ll be feeling better soon (from when I fell, not the sickness I’ve had for a month. That’s probably never going away).

Just some thoughts.

I don’t like politics.

Now, I’m not saying that politics aren’t important in this country; they certainly are–though in the grand scheme of things I would, as a Christian, argue their importance on a spiritual level, but that’s an argument for another day.

I think politics are divisive and ridiculous. I don’t think we’ve ever had a President that was perfect, and, likewise, we’ve never had a president that was as bad as Satan himself. The same goes for Senators, Representatives, Governors, Secretaries of State, etc… It is my belief that no one in power is ever as good, or as bad, as the general public makes it seem. What about the exceptions, you say? Bring up Hitler, whose reign certainly brought with it an era of terror that can hardly be overstated.

Fine. But the Nazi regime, in this case, is the exception, not the rule.

So far this year, I’ve heard a lot of people say that, as a Christian, I should vote for Obama. They say Christians should be democrats instead of republicans. Of course, over the years I’ve heard the opposite. I heard one guy say that the troops are supporting Obama more than McCain, and therefore since I support the troops, I should support Obama. I’m not even going to discuss the fallacies in that argument. People should vote with their own consciences–taking in information that others offer, but always making their own decisions on what they themselves believe is right.

What makes this election so interesting is that it is Obama with the (seemingly) stronger faith, and McCain seems to be the more secular of the two. This is causing a revolution of sorts. I think that, if Jesus were an American, he would neither be a democrat nor a republican. In fact, I think he might be embarrassed by both parties. At the same time, I think he would try to reach those of the right and the left at their own level, and he would love them the same.

McCain and Obama are both doing their fair share of reaching out to the opposite parties. And I personally think that either one of them would be a good choice for the office. So I’m not going to worry about it, and I’m not going to get into heated arguments about it. What happens will happen, and I only get one vote to help determine the outcome.

America is not going to last forever, but God’s kingdom will. In the end, the latter is all that will matter, and mundane, divisive politics will no longer exist.

I have a confession to make:

I don’t think that the Twilight saga is that great.

I mean, it’s good, by all means. I’ve read all four books and I enjoyed all of them. But do they really deserve to be put up on the pedestal with Harry Potter? Because there’s a reason JKR captured the hearts of children and adults alike, from all over the world. Stephenie Meyer wrote a few good books about vampires and werewolves, but are they really at THAT level?

Here’s the thing about Harry: the story was epic. There was a huge cast of characters, and they were all distinctive, dynamic, and recognizable. The story was well-planned from the beginning and it was quite obvious that Rowling wasn’t just making things up as she went.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about Meyer. While it seems she tries to write at the epic level (and I thought her standalone novel The Host was great), the Twilight saga seems to switch back and forth between a very personal story and a very epic adventure. It tries to be both, as one could argue that Harry Potter (or even Star Wars) is both, but I don’t think it succeeds.

In Harry’s world, all the major personal storylines relate back to the larger story. Though there are minor storylines which don’t really have any correlation to the major arc (such as Percy’s arc, or the Ron/Hermione thing, etc…), they are minor and therefore do not take up a whole lot of space, though they are still important to the story in order to add a bit more of a personal touch. Star Wars does the same thing (with the Han/Leia romance, for example).

So, Harry Potter was an epic fantasy, but the Twilight is a personal story. Meyer tries to add elements of an epic in the saga, but since she’s spent the majority of her pages dealing with romance and high school and all of that, she simply doesn’t have the space to write a huge epic.

Let’s go back to my original point, which I believe was…Twilight is not (in my opinion) as great as the hype says.

Also: Harry Potter > Twilight.

Why? Because Harry Potter never tries to be anything that it is not. Twilight doesn’t really have its own identity–it comes across as a funky hybrid. And it doesn’t work as well as I think the author was intending. It’s not terrible by any means, but it isn’t wonderful, either. It is simply good.

Meyer, from reading The Host, is capable of better.

First off, I am tired of all the spamming comments. If I get another one (and I’m sure I will), I am going to start screaming!

Second of all, I am back to the tradition of writing from the computer lab in the Classroom Building. Yes, indeed, classes are back. Today’s actually been all right (although only half-over). I was videotaped this morning, and I think it’s going to be on the school website. I’ll post a lihk, even though I kinda stumbled through it and everything.

I think this Fall is actually going to be my best semester yet. (Positive thinking does wonders!) I’m taking a Philosophy class called Logic and Critical Thinking, and that is Freshman level. I’m also taking Fiction Writing, Studies in Film Genre, British Literature, Poetry Writing, and History of Graphic Design. That’s 18 hours, to match my other two semesters at OSU (I’ve never had more or less here, and so far, I’ve been able to handle it). However, this is the first time I’ve taken more than five classes in a semester. So we’ll see how that goes.

I already got football tickets, and charged them to bursar. Hopefully Mom and Dad will be okay with that. If not, I can reimburse them. That means I’ve got a Bedlam ticket! For the first time ever! Pretty exciting… And if I want a refund, I can just go to all the games except for Bedlam and sell that ticket for as much as I bought the entire season!

Just kidding, by the way. I’m not a scalper and I don’t rip people off.

Parking was terrible this morning; it took me forever to find a spot. Luckily, I left early enough that I got to class in plenty of time. I’ve got a garage permit, but the parking garage I’m permitted to park in isn’t actually finished yet. That costs a lot of money, too.

Tonight, there’s a devotional at Theta pond; it’s part of Alpha week at the UC. There’s something going on everyday this week, which is nice. It’s easy to get bored on the first week of school sometimes, but that won’t happen to me. I’ve got homework to do and everyhting!

No, really, I can’t.

It started about Saturday night, after I had taken Miracle and Kapriati to the aquarium (they finished the summer reading program! I’m so proud of them!). It was just a sore throat at first, so I figured that I was either a.) getting a cold or b.) just had kind of a sore voice that would go away in a matter of hours. It is now Wednesday night, and I’m starting to realize how my entire life I’ve taken a few of my God-given abilities for granted.

Like, say, the ability to swallow. Or to eat something other than jello and ice cream. Or even to talk normally and painlessly.

The doctor I went to said that he believes it is just a virus, that it should go away in a couple of days of rest and plenty of liquids. I’m not even going to speculate on what it could be. I don’t have anything else, only a very sore throat. No congestion, no runny nose, I’m not even running a fever. That probably means I’m not contagious, but I didn’t take any chances today. I haven’t left the very empty house in Stillwater. The only person I’ve actually talked to today has been my mom, over the phone.

I kinda miss friends, though…or maybe just people in general.

Other than that business, moving wasn’t that hard on Monday. My room in Sand Springs is clean, and I’m all settled in over here. My car is clean, too, which is amazing. I’m not ready for school to start on Monday, but it seems so far away that I’m not all that worried about it. I guess I should be.

I’ve been watching episodes from the first season of 24 on the big screen they’ve (the couple I’m living with) got in their living room. It probably sounds like I’m being really lazy, which is true, but I don’t really want to just lie around here. After this summer at Contact, I’m kinda itching to get out of the house and do something, but at the same time, what am I going to do by myself? Anyway, it’s late, and I’m not supposed to drive under the influence of nighttime Tylenol.

I’ll probably have more to say after this all goes away, which will hopefully be soon.

The Dark Knight was, get this, as good as everyone says it was. Maybe even better. So let me give you the spoiler-free rundown.

Heath Ledger as the Joker: wow. His voice, his mannerisms could not be any creepier. This was his role. I had to remind myself that this was Heath Ledger and not a real-life psychotic killer–he wa just that good. I know it can be easy for someone to say that all this hype about his performance is just because of the tragedy that occured after filming…but go see for yourself.

In my opinion, Batman is the sexiest superhero (although I guess he’s technically not a “superhero” since he has no superpowers) there is. I stand by that. Christian Bale is the best (and possibly hottest) Batman, and he is by far the best Bruce Wayne. In fact, if there was one thing I missed in this movie, it was the Bruce Wayne moments that kinda got overshadowed by the Joker and Harvey Dent and Batman.

The movie was dark and twisted and far removed from the Batman movies of old. What sets Batman apart from other superheroes? Christopher Nolan sees to know that better than most. The Dark Knight surpasses all the Spider-Man movies and any other superhero movies of this ago (and maybe even the last age). The dark humor in the movie adds to the tension instead of relieving it, and the tragedy that occurs sets it at an unprecedented scale. In the end, we can all see that Batman is the greatest kind of hero there is: one that makes the hard choices and sacrifices because that is the best way to serve the people of his city. He doesn’t see himself as the hero, and neither does he want people to see him as such…and that is what makes him “more than a hero.”

I don’t really give out ratings because I don’t want to be seen as a movie critic. I’ll just say that this is worth every cent you’ll pay at the theater and more.